No one stood up when the credits began to roll.
Whispered wows mixed with the sound of sniffling as we reached for tissues, blinked our eyes, and stayed for just a moment longer.
Like so many others, I grew up watching Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood. Childhood memories flooded back as the red trolley, the closet full of sweaters hung with care, and the familiar and welcoming face of Mr. Rogers filled the big screen.
At the time, I’m not sure I understood just how unusual — in every wonderful way — the Neighborhood was.
Mr. Rogers took the time to truly listen to everyone he encountered, made space for those who were different than him, and fought with kindness for what he believed in. He was a gentle man with conviction, a humble man with doubts, and he dared to simply be himself.
Nearly two months have passed since I sat in the theater, smiling wide as I wiped tears from my eyes. But one particular moment from the Won’t You Be My Neighbor documentary has stayed with me. Honestly, I have no recollection of hearing the song as a child. But as a twenty-five-year-old, it struck a chord deep within me.
“I’ve been wondering if I was a mistake,” Daniel Tiger quietly admits to Lady Aberlin. As he explains that no other tiger looks, talks, or loves like he does, the words to the song “Sometimes I Wonder If I’m a Mistake” begin to spill out. They’re honest and raw, true and familiar — not because I remember this particular song from childhood, but because I’ve heard the words inside. Maybe you have, too?
You could have heard a pin drop in the theater, one hundred adults collectively holding their breath, waiting to see what would happen next. And then, Lady Aberlin’s response, so simple and sweet:
It’s really true
I like you
Crying or shaking or dreaming or breaking
There’s no one mistaking it
You’re my best friend
I think you are just fine as you are
I really must tell you
I do like the person that you are becoming
When you are sleeping
When you are waking
You’re not a fake
You’re no mistake
You are my friend
Lady Aberlin sang the words that every heart longs to hear. And then, much to my surprise, the song became a duet, doubts and truth sung to the same tune at the same time. My mouth hung wide open as tears ran down, stunned by the honesty of their voices mingling together.
Because it doesn’t happen overnight, does it? We work up the courage to share our doubts and fears with a trusted friend, but even when we’re met with kindness and truth, even when light breaks into the darkness, there are still shadows.
It takes time to replace lies with truth, and so we just keep on singing — together.
Several years ago, a trusted friend and I sat on an old wooden bench as I dared to whisper the words that screamed in the dark. I was terrified she’d confirm what I feared to be true, but as my words hung in the air she spoke truth and reminded me of Scripture. Much like Lady Aberlin, she simply and sweetly cut in and put new lyrics to a familiar tune.
She didn’t erase the song, and even all these years later, some days it still plays in the background. But in that moment, the solo became a duet.
Sometimes we just need someone to sing with us, to remind us of what’s true, to speak love and life and hope into the doubts, the fears, the questions.
Would you allow me to be your neighbor today? Whatever song you’re singing, whatever fear you’re facing, whatever lie is whispering inside, allow these words to join the mix:
Everything is going to be okay.
You’re braver than you know, loved more than you dare to dream.
You have not been forgotten.
You aren’t a mistake.
There’s room for you here.
You’re loved not for what you do, but for who you are.
Even in the in between and unknown, you are not alone.
Your story matters.
Eventually, my friend and I left the bench and walked home. Many years later, in a crowded movie theater, the lights came on as a room full of adults reached for tissues and car keys.
This is how it goes, over and over again. This is the work of being a neighbor. We show up. We listen. We speak the truth. We love. And then we go home and do the same.
As Mr. Rogers said, “The greatest thing we can do is to help somebody know they’re loved.”
Let’s be neighbors and friends, sisters and mentors and women, who bring out the good in one another, who speak Truth to the lies and hold hands through the dark.
Let’s keep singing — together.
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Kaitlyn,
I’m a Pittsburgh gal (where Mister Rogers is from) and I grew up watching his show. I was a faithful viewer for the very reasons you mentioned. He spoke love and acceptance into the hearts of children who watched. I learned the lesson that Daniel the Tiger learned….that I am not a mistake. The fact that I wear my heart on my sleeve, cry at the end of a lot of movies, and am the poster gal for “sensitive” is not wrong. It’s just how God made me and there is plenty of room for all of us. The more I risk being vulnerable and share some of the sometimes quirky, sometimes dark inner workings of my mind, the more I find that people breathe a sigh of relief and say, “You too?” As neighbors, we are alike in many ways. Let’s drop the masks and invite each other into our worlds and reach out to their worlds and ask, “Won’t you be my neighbor?” Let’s sing into each other’s lives. Love that man and loved this post!
Blessings,
Bev xx
Kaitlyn Bouchillon says
Yes – like the C.S. Lewis quote! “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'”
Karen Knowles says
I agree, Kaitlyn! Love C.S. Lewis!
Michele Morin says
I still get a lump in my throat when I hear the Mr. Rogers songs. And I will confess that I watched his show much longer than I would have been comfortable for my friends to have known, because that gentle voice of acceptance and sweet reasonableness was such a gift to me for that time. Sometimes we forget that the gospel itself is an open door of welcome and acceptance in which God has said to all humanity, “Won’t you be my neighbor?”
Beth Williams says
Kaitlyn,
This world has us thinking we should act & look a certain way. People tend to laugh at us if we’re not in with the popular crowd or doing what everyone is doing. God’s philosophy turns all that upside down. He says you were made in my image. Don’t believe those lies of the evil one. You are my beautiful creation & I don’t make mistakes. People need to hear & know that they are loved no matter what. A few weeks ago I went over to my neighbor’s house & took them some food. She just lost her last living son. The only family she has left is one 20 something granddaughter & a sister in a nursing home. I sat with them & listened to them. Let her cry & nicely told her I’m here for her if she needs anything. Like Bev said above we need to remove the masks of pretending & just be ourselves. The way God made us. Loved this post!
Blessings 🙂
Kaitlyn Bouchillon says
What a beautiful gift you gave your neighbor… time.
Kristin Vanderlip says
This is so beautifully shared Kaitlyn. I haven’t yet had the privilege to see this documentary it but I will one day. This is timely for me as I’m in a season of thinking of and being thankful for the people God has placed in my life to sing my song back to me when I forget it, who speak my truth back to me when I struggle with lies, who propel me forward when I fall back into doubt and discouragement. When we love our neighbors and become neighbors who love, what a glorious life – one God knew we would need. Blessings, Kristin
Kaitlyn Bouchillon says
I hope you’ll be able to see it while it’s still in the theaters! If you do, please come back and comment… I’d love to know what you think! 🙂
Kristin Vanderlip says
This is so beautifully shared Kaitlyn. I haven’t yet had the privilege to see this documentary it but I will one day. This is timely for me as I’m in a season of thinking of and being thankful for the people God has placed in my life to sing my song back to me when I forget it, who speak my truth back to me when I struggle with lies, who propel me forward when I fall back into doubt and discouragement. When we love our neighbors and become neighbors who love, what a glorious life – one God knew we would need. Blessings, Kristin
Christine Wright says
Oh, tears! That was beautiful and truly the reminder my heart needed. Thank you, Kaitlyn.❤
Kaitlyn Bouchillon says
I’m so glad to hear that, Christine. <3
Bella Morganthal says
So beautiful! Thank you for sharing, Kaitlyn <3
Kaitlyn Bouchillon says
So fun that we’re sharing on the same day. 🙂
Theresa Boedeker says
A friend and I saw this movie, and since then I have been recommending to everyone I know. Loved how you wrote about how we need someone to sing new words to our song.
Karen Knowles says
I so identify with your comments, Bev.
Becky Keife says
I haven’t see the documentary yet, but this post makes me want to even more! How much impact one life can have when a person purposes to listen, speak truth, be kind. Wish I could give you (and Mr. Rogers) a neighborly hug today. xx
Bill Gohn says
If I respectfully may, Becky… there are some books “out there” authored/co-authored by Mr. Rogers (the titles escape my mind at this time). Research them out – they are insightful and inspiring. They don’t get dusty in my personal library! Oh yeah… I haven’t seen the ‘screen version’ yet, as well – you bet I’ll get the DVD! Blessings galore…
p.s. Mr. Rogers always complimentary- closed his correspondence with the blessing “Grace” (in the Greek rendering!).
Kaitlyn Bouchillon says
I need you to see it and then vox me all your thoughts right after. 🙂 🙂 Grace and I loved it!
Bill Gohn says
Peace with God is peace of heart… Mr. Rogers lived and conveyed this truism – which everybody longs for. Thank you, and God richly bless you, for sharing, for reminding,… Shalom!
Melinda says
I have no idea why tears are streaming down my face as I read your words today. Something deep must have occurred. Thank you for writing these beautiful words today. They spoke to my soul.
(I did see the movie and loved every moment)
Kaitlyn Bouchillon says
Melinda, I’m sitting at Starbucks responding to comments — and wish you could be right here, sitting across the table from me. I bet we’d have a lot to talk about. Thank you for reading and commenting! <3